Shortly after my previous post, I landed a full time position with First Nations Health Authority, which I’m truly blessed and glad to have.  Not only do I have a whole new environment to explore, but I also have a whole team of really dedicated and passionate colleagues who work beside me and whom I can share my lunch time and random moments with.  If you think about it, you spend more time with the people you work with than your family and friends, so you might as well work with people you like.

I’m truly surprised and glad to partake on a new journey of an episode of my life.

Smiles. X 100.

Let’s see,

how should I start? Let’s start with my birthday wishes. Now that I’m 24 years old, I’m almost at the quarter length of a century…and if I recall correctly, I actually have this extensive mental list of items I’d like to do before I turn 25…so time is definitely ticking off quickly! As the age 30 comes to a closer call by the minute, I guess my 24 year old wishes were quite frankly related to both my near and further future.  I wanted the people around me to be healthy and happy, that i could have a healthy and long lasting relationship with Calvin, and that I would be able to find a full time job that would be fulfilling to me.  Sometimes I can’t help but feel bad because I feel like I’m way behind everybody else in terms of finding a permanent and stable job, but sometimes I try to encourage myself by thinking that every interview is a new experience for me to see something new in different companies.  The only thing that I can hope for is that my mom’s “auntie” friends won’t ask me so much about what I’m doing every single time I see them. Yes I don’t have a stable job but I’m not unemployed ok? And no I’m not trying to be lazy and I’m not useless either.  I’m just waiting for my chance.

So, this birthday, I received an early birthday present that I’ll be carrying with me for the next little while.  Shortly after I came back from Singapore I went to a gynaecologist who referred me to a hormone specialist. I performed some blood tests, ultrasound, and MRI scan and it turns out that I have a pituitary tumour, about the size of a pea.  Although it’s not very big it’s been affecting certain functions of my body so I’ve been prescribed some medication and I’ll have to do some check ups every 6 months To monitor my progress. As shocked as I was when I initially heard about the news, I’m quite thankful that no surgery will be required and that medication should help to control my tumor. And that’s my first present. Another reminder to self that life is very unpredictable. Like a drama.

Then the second birthday present came just three days before my actual birthday. the bunch of us from Kebe were at boathouse celebrating Ivy and my birthday when I ate a piece of sirloin that I think must have had some bacteria in it, because the next thing I knew I started having diarrhea that night and it never stopped until now. It truly accompanied me through from age 23 to 24 every second of the way. Needless to say thanks to my diarrhea I lost about 5-6 pounds, which saves a few ways trip to the gym. Another reminder to self to be careful next time going to boathouse and that inshoukd be careful with what I put into my body.

Tomorrow I’m supposed to attend a celebration for me at a friend’s place. Sadly, I won’t be able to go because of my diarrhea. For the whole week I was looking forward to spending some good time with my friend but now it’s gonna be another goner. Not sure if I should count this as a third present to self, but I guess either way this has got to be one of the most memorable birthdays I’ve had in years….in quite a different way.

Calvin always tells me not to compare myself with other people, because there are always struggles behind each persons stories that we can’t tell. But to me, I sometimes really wonder why some people have everything that I’ve ever wanted in such an easy way.

next birthday, I hope that I can do what I wanted to do this birthday but couldn’t, which is to bake lots and lots of cookies and give them out to people around my neighbourhood and veg t strangers on the street. Maybe only with a giving heart will my perspective of what I already have in life change.

ps: bad grammar but oh wells, I haven’t written in awhile

It’s amazing how inspiration can come from all over the places. One moment I’m sitting at the kitchen table eating my laksa noodles and seconds later a vision came upon me like never before. Of course, this could all be just another day dream of mines hovering over me but for the first time ever I’m so intrigued by this idea of mines that I immediately rushed upstairs to my room, grabbed a piece of blank paper, and started brainstorming ideas. Talk about an efficient morning

To be honest, I’ll never know if my idea will work or if this inspiration of mines will even be feasible, but I’ve just made a commitment to myself to start researching and hoping to one day fulfill this dream of mines. Maybe this will mean lots of hard work and a year or two down the road but I think I’ll try my best with everyday that passes by.

I want my own business. But rather than a business just for profitability I’d like to create one that creates opportunities and fulfills my role as a stewardess of this planet for God Thanks so so much to Pastor Chris for speaking such an awesome sermon about “work” the other day. It just completely blew my mind away about what work means to us and God.

God was a creator who worked hard to build his creation. We were made in his image so by default we all like to create and build, no matter if its just a simple dinner or creating games or even creating businesses and new inventions. But he also was a hard worker that did whatever it takes to fulfill his role. He gave up his son Jesus so that we can be re-united with Him. Similarly, Jesus fulfilled and worked so hard in his life just to receive the punishment He received and end his life by the words “Its finished.” – which, by the way, creates a new responsibility for us whereby we need to start and finish projects that we are supposed to do. When was the last time I stopped halfway through a project? Not so long ago…

What I need now if probably lots of prayer and guidance…because inevitably this business is more of an idea to glorify Him and not really myself – although it will have everything to do with my passion

I can’t go into details of what I plan to do but today is the day that marks the beginning of lots and lots of brainstorming, ideas, and learning. Let the new year for me begin (even though it’s already August).

Cheers!

I’m inspired.

Recently I’ve had more time spent at home after my long trip to Singapore, and I’ve been able to watch some movies on Netflix (Btw I think that Netflix is awesome because they have a great selection of good movies). I came upon some movies that truly inspired me – particularly those to do with autobiographies or stories based on real life.

The first I watched even before I travelled to Singapore was the story of Queen Victoria. Although the story was more based on her romance story with Prince Albert, I think that it inspired me because even though her step dad (or her mother’s counsellor) tried to force her to surrender her throne, Victoria still took a strong hold and came on to be the youngest reigning queen in history. She then established herself as the longest reigning queen in history also. She created a first and believed in herself.

Then there was the story of Facebook’s creator – the movie called The social network. Even though at the end of the day only 40% of the story is true about Mark, I think the main idea I got from the movie was that if you have an idea and you implemented it with all your might (against financial risks, lawsuits, people accusing you of fraud, or the fact that people view you as an accidental billionaire), good will come out of it at the end of the day. Maybe you will fail at some point in your life, such as how Mark failed with facemash and establishing good relationships in school, but if you persevere then something good will happen. As long as you believe.

Then there was the movie called “Katy Perry – A part of me”. This was the movie that blew my mind. It blew my mind because in a lot of areas, she shared a similar childhood dream as me. As a child, all I wanted to do was believe in fairy tales and draw as my passion. However, for me, I think I gave up my dream and just tried to live a normal life like lots of people around me including friends and family. Fairy tales were no longer a dream that could be reached – instead, they would forever remain as dreams. For Katy Perry, she chased after her dream until she could hold it into her hands and smile at it.

As a child she dreamed of a perfect romance, a perfect partner for the rest of her life, and a day when she could just be happy and sing on the stage with lots and thousands of people singing along with her. She did that from the first day of her world tour. Along the way she grew as a person, persisted, and gave it her best shot at her married life. Yes, maybe her marriage failed but you know what? She gained a second shot at it. She still has a long future ahead of her.

But what inspired me the most about these stories was the fact that every one of them believed in themselves. Katy might have been discouraged at moments in her life, but with the support of her fans and friends around her, she believed in herself as being the only Katy Perry in the world. I think its true when she said these words: “Thank you for believing in Katy Perry and her weirdness.”

On a side note, Ashton made a very interesting speech at Teens choice award the other day. He went on to day that there were three things he learned before his name changed from Chris to Ashton. He learned that opportunities is a lot of hardwork, that being sexy meant being smart, being generous, and making good decisions, and that you should try yourself to build life, and not live it. One amazing inspiration that I will somehow take into my life.

I am turning 24 soon, and with age comes more responsibility. Maybe soon I will be at the crossroads between where I will stay and what I will do, but I pray that God would continue to show me where my path is, and that I can build my own life too – that I can become the only Kathy Tse Ka Yuk there is in the world (no matter how many Kathy Tses there are on this planet).

Dear Xanga,

Yes it’s hard to believe that you have been with me through my ups and downs for the past 10 years..yes, ever since I was 13.  I still remember my craze over HTML scripts and xanga themes, and all the different posts from childhood fan fic to some harsh decisions and emotions I’ve felt through my lowest points in life. 

I know recently I’ve been away from this site for a while, and quite frankly, I know and feel that xanga is not the xanga it used to be anymore.  It used to be a site where I liked to share my emotions and feelings with to my circle of close friends (or even anonymous strangers), but really, hardly anyone reads xanga anymore. So it’s turned into more of a private online diary for me.

On the other hand, I’ve been just so distracted, tired, and lazy to write anything, let alone create art like I used to.  I wish I could find the motivation to drive myself forward once more, but I’m thinking that I’ll need to take more action than self talk myself

Hopefully xanga won’t close down by July 15th or else I’m not sure what xanga would do with my life-time premium membership…and chances are I would need to start a new blog site like word press.

On a more positive note, I’m going to Singapore next week!   For sure I’ll update my site more often. Yay!

Sometimes I feel like I’m a piece of crap and i’m born into this world for no reason at all.

Other times I try to be more optimistic and actually “fake it till I become it” happy like today when I attended Meghan’s baby shower. When I see the little angel tucked into my arms like a doll, I just can’t help but smile. Life can be beautiful, depending on how you look at it.

But right now, I’m just sad period. So I’ll sleep until tomorrow’s new day and new beginning. Hopefully, a better one

It’s the first day of April and I’m sick! (I had a fever last night) but yay two more months and I’ll be off to Singapore I can’t wait until the end of May when my contract at the Aquarium is up ( don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy working there) and I can take a long vacation. So in the mean time, I’ll still try to work lots and see how much I can earn in this short time!

Finally filed my taxes and I get a refund /credit of $1100 from the government. Awesomeness since it fully covers my air ticket to Singapore.

Now time to rest

It’s been another two months since my last update, and as I recall on the last two months, I think I’ve learned lots, yet I’m slightly disappointed by some of the events that have occurred in my work life.

I think the first would be a change in a team member of my team. Although I really appreciate the new effort, energy, and efficiency of the new member in place of the old member, I do miss the old member to a certain extent just because I got used to her. The news of her leave came as a surprise to me.

The second would be my disapointment in myself, as I realize how ignorant I am about a lot of the work that I do and how much more knowledge and experience I need to accrue as a person. I really need to take my work more serious and acquire the heart to learn as my new team member is learning and dealing with new situations. I think I look up to her. I really do.

Other than these small but significant events, overall I’m quite happy that I have two jobs to do and that I’m earning an adequate amount each month of course, the more the better! And I’m trying many forms of savings account (TFSA, mutual funds, Forex, and GIC (at least I used to have one before). Hopefully I can save up and that I can have enough money to visit Calvin in the summer.

My mom’s health has been better and even though its only March I feel that time is flying and somehow it will be may soon…so my Kim’s birthday is coming up! Just got her a new seahorse mattress to sleep on so hopefully her back will be more healthy and I can enjoy more home cooked food made by her

My New Years resolution of losing weight has gone up and down as I’m slightly in inconsistent with my work out. Im tired most of the days so I’m finding it harder and harder to force myself to the gym.

If I could choose all over again I would’ve wanted to study in graphic design…but I guess I can’t start over so I might as well look forward? I visited BCIT the other day so I’m looking to start studying graphics design in April night class…dream dream dream here I come!

Time flies.  Thinking back to the start of the year I’m amazed at how I’ve evolved as a person through the nitty gritty small or big things that have occurred in my life.  And it is as follows:

1. I started dating Calvin on January 1st.  So far I think this is one of the most proper choices I’ve made in my life.  So far

2. I became school-less and job-less (full time) and had to look for jobs on and off while doing part time at Kebe.  The days of job hunting has made me aware of how fortunate I am to just “have” a job regardless of whether it is full time or part time and how wonderful of a workplace Kebe is. 

3. My dad past away.  Of all the times in life that I’ve felt regretful this is one of those moments where I feel complete remorse over not being able to listen to my dad’s skype calls few weeks prior to his death because I chose not to listen to them.  Life can be gone in just a blink of an eye and we need to acknowledge the people who are important in our lives.  I learnt that the hard way looking back.

4. Calvin visited Vancouver for the first time during the summer.  This was definitely a nice occasion for me since I got to revisit some of Vancouver’s attractions for the first time again.  For the few weeks Calvin was here, for the first time I started realizing how wonderful it is to have that matching someone to be by your side full time and not just being in another ruthless relationship.  We argued and we fought.  We had the good and the bad but overall I learned that relationships aren’t about individual expectations but more about accommodations, communication, and open expectations (expectations that we both share for each other or respect for each other)

5. I started working at the Vancouver Aquarium as an HR intern.  Yes this was definitely a turn for the positive for me after several months of waiting for replies from blank jobs and random interviews with companies whom the name of I’ve already forgotten.  This has been one of the most amazing highlights of the year because I got to learn so much more about such a wonderful organization and just the fact of working for a non-for-profit organization makes me very very happy.  The first week I was there I couldn’t help but visit the beluga gallery and sea otters every single day.  It matters to me that I am being a part of a greater picture for a greater cause and future. 

6. My mom started her Hep C treatment.  After several months of waiting and communication we are finally intact and able to visit the clinic for the first time to learn how to take the oral medication and how to conduct the injection for my mom’s body.  It is a small thing for me to learn how to inject fluids into my mom’s body but definitely a great thing for my mom to absorb all the pain and trial to go through the treatment.  For now the treatment has worked well thus far and we hope that it will end by the end of April.  Nevertheless my mom’s health and treatment has given me into new insight into how our bodies are important for our overall happiness.  So hopefully in the new year, both my mom and I can have a healthier body.

7. I became an HR assistant at the Aquarium.  This came as a pleasant surprise to me and I’m still over joyed over the situation.  I’m now still learning benefits administration and more about payroll administration as well as being able to work with changing layouts of websites (which I really enjoy) for the benefits side of HR.  All these are a small step up but definitely a surplus for me out of the internship. 

8. I passed my Certified Human Resource Professional Exam.    One more addition towards my HR profession. Yay!

9. I enjoyed my Christmas with family and friends.

The end!