March 1, 2011

  • Remember

    Last week has been really tough for me.  And so will this week be.  I'm constantly upset and mad that things aren't going the way I want it to be and I'm also upset that no one can really help me out because no one is stuck in my situation.  And yes I'm absolutely mad at SFU because they make me feel like they totally don't care whether I die or not, and as I wait for them to contact me again I feel the dread that burdens me every single day.

    But then tonight as I sit in my bed to read some scriptures, I came upon this devotional sharing, and it made me re-position parts of my thinking:

       

    Remember-Judith Couchman

    A warm letter from a friend.  A compliment from my boss.  An unexpected refund.  A comforting scripture.  These arrive as God's good gifts to me.  But they usually get overlooked while I'm focusing on what feels like-at least to me me-insurmountable trouble.  Always, it's trouble that God hasn't solved yet.  Often, I complain about his delayed response.  But really, my myopic vision isn't fair to him.  If I lift my eyes off the problem, I can spot God's gifts all around me.  They may not be the answer I'm searching for at the moment, but they're good and continuous gifts that say, "I still love you, my child."  They remind me that God doesn't stop caring for me, even though I live with unfulfilled expectations.  Now during the hard times, I remind myself to hunt for God's small surprises while I'm waiting for his big solution.  It takes my mind off the problem.  It helps me to trust him...It encourages me to know that God still cares.
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