謝家玉你要努力。更加努力。因為你沒有人士關係可以幫你找工作，因為你沒有爸爸媽媽可以給你寶貴的意見，因為你只有自己的一雙手，因為你不想別人覺得你靠媽媽才可以負擔自己。因為你要照顧自己，不要別人看輕你。因為你不要靠任何人。 Be tough. Be strong. 你要保護自己。
My mentor once told me this:
Sometimes we are not afraid that we are inadequate. We are afraid that we will succeed. Because once we succeed, what do we do next? Go for it Kathy. Go for it.
Exploration 101
April 12: Weaving at Evergreen visual studio A
April 13: New Westminster Quay
April 14: Museum of Vancouver
April 15: Vancouver Aquarium, Tea House at Stanley Park, Make it Production at Croatian Cultural Center
April 16: Museum of Anthropology, Cronos Greek Restaurant
April 17: Artwalk at Port Moody, What8ever, watching a full moon eclipse while driving down no 1
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Exploration requires you to go out and seek for adventure. It teaches you how to collect the memories you want to store and then to store them in a nice safe place in your mind. Sometimes you can use drawings, photos, or writing to store the memory physically but sometimes it can also be in the form of feelings, touch, and smell. Whichever way it was, I loved the past week because I got to venture out to so many places within Vancouver that have let me try much, seen much, felt much, and made much =]. If it wasn't for the recognition free admission ticket I wouldn't be motivated to go to all these places since it'll cost me a whole lot and because I didn't know that a lot of places exist in the first place =P such as MOV and MOA. I guess I'm really thankful. Like really.
At the Museum of Vancouver, I witnessed one of the most beautiful sakura blossoms ever as I sat there looking up from the ground up. I made a new friend there named Ann, who is from Thailand, and will be hanging out with her when she comes back from Kamploops.
At the Vancouver Aquarium, I got to see things I didn't see the last time I went there including a lot of butterflies, sea turtles, and monkeys 
I also had the chance to try a french coffee at the Tea House restaurant, which includes Brandy because its an alcoholic coffee...not exactly my type of drink but at least I got to try it...
At the Make It Production I was really pleased to see so many indie culture crafts and art and I loved being able to put a face to each item I bought (as in I know who actually made it because the designers were there at the booths when you purchase the one of a kind items).
At the Museum of Anthropology I got to see a lot of different culture clashes as well as first nations and their crafts and art. Although I was a bit frightened by some of the art that was displayed there, I was glad I got to walk around the backyard of the Museum, which was, like MOV, quite remarkable.
The Artwalk that occurred today made me amazed at how many artists there are in Coquitlam. Seeing and speaking with artists themselves have let me in on some insight about running a side business for your hobby while continuing on with your full time job. In particular, I acquainted myself to Lori Motokado, whose water colour paintings are just remarkable. I love how she explains each piece of art with a story linked to her childhood or self.
And tonight I just witnessed one of the most remarkable sights ever while driving-a moon eclipse! You cannot imagine the excitement I experienced as I watched it while driving! It's like a race as you try to maintain the correct driving direction while trying to catch clear glimpses of the full process. Thankfully, I was driving on a highway with no trees surrounding so I had a very good view of everything. Remarkable. Amazing. Awesome. =]
Exploration requires a deep connection within yourself. No other person can explore and experience the same things as you do. No one can have the exact same memory as you do. You can share memories but how the memory is remembered will always be different because of the perspectives.
Explore and use it wisely.
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This has become my favourite lullaby song.
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Yesterday I went to the Vancouver Art Gallery for the first time and I really enjoyed the exhibitions and artwork. I went was because I got a free admission from Evergreen and the only time that I could go was yesterday. There are still other free admissions that I can go to so I'm looking forward to visiting the Aquarium and other places for the week to come (although I have to squeeze the trips into the morning times because of work in the afternoons). I plan to visit the Museum of Vancouver on Thursday morning and the Aquarium and Home Make It on Friday. Home Make It isn't part of the free admission but I learned about it from Wendy He and got pretty hyped up because of it =].
So the exhibitions yesterday featured WE: Vancouver, which is a collaboration of how people perceive Vancouver, Ken Lum, which showcased numerous amounts of his logos and use of public space, and Walking + Falling: Jim Campbell, Chris Marker, and Eadweard Muybridge, which showcased their use of new media to explore and represent complex notions of time, movement, and memory.
When I first entered the building, I noticed the marvel staircases that stemmed from the center of the ground level to the second level. When you looked up at the glass ceiling you could see all four floors of the gallery and the people walking to and from on each floor. I liked it because it sort of resembles Victorian style (and I love Victorian style houses). Then I walked around the first floor and was shocked by some of the things that I found out about Vancouver. Maybe I was just being ignorant, but perhaps we've all been blinded by these facts ever so often.
It turns that Vancouver, one of the most livable cities in the world, has a ghostly history. Ghostly not because of a black history (although there is that component of it), but ghostly because Vancouver is constantly pushing us to forget the past. How? By taking down old buildings and building new ones. By making us consume without thinking. By reiterating events with a new sense of mind. By striving to be an Utopian society without looking back at the past. I might seem vague when mentioning these points but if you looked at every single art piece that showcased on the first floor (WE: Vancouver), you'd understand what I mean. And so some of the artists tried to present how they view Vancouver in a different perspective, and how they would want Vancouver to be.
One interesting art piece I really liked was created by The Goodweather Collective and the artwork features a set of photos taken of roundabouts in Vancouver putting together to form a quick slideshow video. For one thing, I didn't know that there were so many roundabouts in Vancouver! And for another, the Roundabouts showed the background of the roundabouts themselves too, which includes street houses, buildings, and cars of all sorts. Pretty interesting to see.
From WE:Vancouver I also learned that Carrall Street (located on the east side of downtown), is arguably the oldest street in downtown. In 2008, a number of photos were taken one night showcasing the people on the streets and a video was put together to form a kind of theatre show. Having watched some of the photos I couldn't believe that that was part of Vancouver. The east side too. It looked like a festival more than a bunch of poor people (sorry I don't know how else to describe them).
On the second floor I had some of the most fun because of the House of Realization and the Mirror Maze: 12 signs of depression. The House of Realization is basically a hallways where there is a blank wall on one side (lets say your right hand side) and a wall of the mirrors on the other (left hand side). On the blank wall are a few sentences in three different languages but in order for you to read them you needed to look at the mirrors on the left (because the letters are reversed). So after you finish looking at the sentences, you walk further down the hallway and find that there is an opening for you to enter into a room which is behind the mirrors. And tada you realize that you are looking at people who are looking at the mirrors because the mirrors are actually glass windows on the other side (It was funny looking at the faces of people staring intently at the mirrors-some people were fixing their hair). The Mirror Maze was a maze full of mirrors where there were 12 that had sentences printed on it that showcase signs of depression, such as: I get tired very easily. Of course, everyone who walked through the maze had to walk slowly because I almost hit (actually I did once) mirrors along the way =]
On the third floor were more of the permanent artpieces and some of them were quite interesting, although I can't remember any one in particular. I think some of them were very scary though so I didn't really enjoy it as much as I did the other floors.
The fourth floor was the exhibition of Walking + Falling and it basically takes the concept of the uncertainty principle by German Physicist Werner Heisenberg, which states that "one can never observe an object in it's purest form, as the process of observation itself alters the object" and creates moving art pieces of a man running and falling with LED lights that become more and more blurred with each subsequent piece (yet you can still make out the shape because of the manipulation of the mind). This floor I enjoyed quite a bit also.
So after visiting the art gallery, I went to the their shop and bought a paper chalkboard and a music box that plays over the rainbow. I wanted to go to Cafe Artigiano but I was rushed for time so I had to leave right away. But I did end up staggering for a little longer on Burrard Street because people were taking photos of the Blossoms beside Burrard Station so I decided to join in the fun =].
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I realized that I like being alone now. As in, I like going out by myself to explore new places. Just like how I used to go to Granville Island by myself. Or Longsdale Quay. or places in West Vancouver. Or downtown. And now the Art Gallery. I like the freedom of not being constrained by the other people I go out with so I can actually go around as I wish. I like being able to stay silent at times and be able to listen to my own opinions and not others. I like having the time to sit down and enjoy a cup of hot coffee and look around at what other people are doing. Sometimes its interesting catching glimpses of their lives. Complete strangers. Yet linked together within this particular moment. And yes I notice couples too. I notice how they interact with each other and compare it to what I want in a relationship.
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I finally realized that I'm thankful. Thankful for the things that have happened in my life. Thankful for the ups as well as the downs. Thankful because I can't be who I am today without experiencing the things I have experienced before. I am not perfect but I know I'm not the same as before. I know that I still get hurt, I still stumble, I still fail, and I still cry, but I know that every time I stand up again, Jesus is right there beside me to give me the same ratio, if not more, happiness for every sadness that I experience. I think Pastor Leung was pretty right about the sermon today. The more we want to experience God's faithfulness the more God will push us down to the ground. Because only when we are pushed to the extent pit fall can we rely on Him and be pushed back up to see his love and mercy. I don't know if I've been pushed to the extent yet but I know that I have been pushed to hit some pretty rough moments in my life and now I'm just at the beginning of rising up again.
The Royal Wedding♦
I might seem silly wanting to believe in happily ever afters but after watching a few videos and reading a few articles of how William and Kate met, well...I just can't help but smile at how cute and terribly matching the couple is. Living in the farm land with William going home each day for some homemade dinner cooked by Kate...how simple but lovely is that? I don't really care what others say...Yes maybe the royal family has some say in how the media is to portray about them...but who could not be happy for the royal couple? Who could not wonder about the stories behind the eight year's they've been together prior to engagement? What has made their relationship so strong? What good qualities do Kate exhibit that make her a candidate princess? What can I learn from her? Needless to say, as with all else, the wedding will have an opportunity cost for the couple as Kate will need to surrender a lot of her freedom and take on the pressure and responsibilities of being a princess. Of course, everything is worth it for true love.
On Saturday morning I went to the pre-departure session for my exchange program. As I sat there listening to Sani (who went to Lund University last fall) talk, I felt like flying to Lund was actually happening sooner than I thought. Right now it seems like there is still four months time before pre-departure, but as I learned about the things that I get to experience at Lund, including the places I must go, the food I must eat, the people I must interact with, I can't help but realize that no matter how prepared I might seem to be right now for leaving, when the time actually comes, I'll still be in a panic mode as I get to travel abroad by myself for the very first time. No mom, no friends, just on my own with my suitcase and a free spirit.
I talked to a couple of other exchange students at the pre-departure session, including Amadon who is going to Vienna, and Elijah who is going to Austria. Its so fascinating learning about other people's dreams and why they are traveling abroad. Its so amazing being able to learn about other people's experiences and how your experiences can be of interest to others at the same time. I never thought anything I ever experienced would be worth sharing with others until now.
Well, maybe I always knew. Its just that I haven't fully acknowledged the fact when people in the past have hurt me by not wanting to listen.
This week I'll be waiting to hear back from a company to see if they will hire me for an HR internship. I had an interview with them last week but I guess it didn't go as well as I would want it to be? But nevertheless I'm already glad that I had the opportunity to be interviewed by them and I hope that something good will stem out of it. =]
Things to do this week:
-Co-op report
-BUS 486 report
-Plan for theme night
-CIM session
-Meet up with my mentor Dennis
-Coffee House! =]
-Revere Cry network
-Work at Kebe
It's so weird seeing pictures of my house on google. It also feels weird how my house doesn't feel like my home anymore because I have to always leave whenever people want to come see my place. It feels weird when I know there will be strangers looking at my room like it's some touring site 
. And according to a real estate site this is the description of my home (it really feels like a touring site!):
Bright and clean. Beautiful 4-bedroom home with 3 full bathrooms. Renovations in 2006 include hardwood floorings in main floor living room, dining room and bedrooms. On ground walkout basement just finished last year with laminate floors in living room and dining room. Just add a stove and you will have a second kitchen. Easy to convert to one bedroom suite. A few months old stove, range hood, washer and dryer. Roof 6 years old. Fully fenced southern exposure low maintenance backyard. Level lot with level driveway. Walk to Coquitlam Centre, T&T Supermarket, library, City Hall, aquatic centre and parks. All measurements are approximate.
Haha.
I will definitely miss this home very very much and will need a lot of counseling before I can get over it lol. I do look forward to my new home though because it's just THAT beautiful 
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I'm going to Beijing soon so I'm looking forward to that too
These past few days I've been quite unhappy about a few things...
I haven't been able to share this with anyone but part of it has to do with family problems and part of it has to do with my own problems...
I hate how I'm surrounded by lies all the time. Everywhere. Even within my family. I don't even know what is true or not anymore and I don't even know if I can trust anybody in this world anymore for that matter. The sense of insecurity makes me wonder if I'm better off not believing in anyone anymore. I mean,"why so serious?"
I also feel like I'm at that stage where I'm transitioning from school (Happy Lala land) into the more real world where I see a lot of masks and beasts behind it all. Not that I didn't know this before. Its just hard to accept at times. I don't want to but I'm finding myself slowly forming my own masks too. Just to protect myself and shield from people who want to hurt me.
But, as with all things, on a positive note, I should take this as a lesson in life and continue working my way slowly to find my true self. I need to learn how to make my own discernment and not just accept everything as is. If I believe something is wrong or not the truth, then I will either need to speak up or accept it as a lie. Accepting it as a lie means that I choose not to believe in the statement someone makes, but that I also choose not to retaliate if its really not going to make the situation any better. There are enough problems to deal with in the first place than to stir up new ones...
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This week I have Toastmasters on Wednesday night, Stokehouse committee meeting Thursday night, BUS 486 final Friday morning, and Exchange departure session Saturday morning! =D. So much to look forward to except for the final! No work this week I don't think...(Money money where are you???)
All from Lafarge =]
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