June 23, 2011

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    Yesterday I was sharing with a friend about how I was really mad, frustrated, and could not forgive.  I knew that I was wrong to even think about wanting some sort of justification or vengeance (not as in I want that person to die or something...I just felt like I deserved better than this, and didn't understand why this could happen) but I could not stop myself from caring and feeling a bit bad. 

    So today, on the bus, when I randomly turned the pages to where I last left off in the book "Cast of Characters" by Max Lucado, I was very amazed at how God chose to speak to me about anger.  In chapter 13 of the book, it talked about Joseph, the famous character well-known for his great compassion and forgiveness of his brothers.  But what caught my eye was not the part about forgiveness.  It was the part about how Joseph learned to look towards God at the big picture instead of focusing on the small picture.  He somehow knew that God let him suffer such that He could work through him to accomplish more.  And by focusing on God instead of his anger, he was letting go of his own stubbornness and letting God do the judgment.  Because as Joseph stated when his brothers came up to him to ask for forgiveness, "Am I in the place of God?" (Genesis v. 19), only God has the sole right to vengeance, not us.  We need to understand that what we see in our lives is but just a part of a jigsaw puzzle, and that God sees the cover of the whole puzzle box. 

    That being said, it is still hard to not want vengeance when its within your definite power to do so.  But then again, who said it was easy to follow God's plan?